homemade happiness.

'and all the shy lights in the cracks,
and all the walls are close enough
to make me wonder
hows its like when you are here.'
-tender forever

favorite conversation overheard during transit across campus thus far this semester: from one slightly effeminate guy on his cell phone, "girl, its colder than a witch's titties out here." well said sir. well said.

this won't be my life for long.

its hard to look at your home and say goodbye. its hard to understand it won't be there. its hard to look at your dog, and your desk, and the sheets of your bed and realize they don't need you. the spaces of carpet you haven't seen for years, walls bare, and card board boxes. and suddenly I want nothing more than to keep it. to keep it in me.
because maybe Im not me without it.
and that scares me.

say no to soda. drink sweet tea.

yesterday I found this tiny lisa frank notebook I wrote in as a six year old, just months after moving from texas in 1996. and I think it made the last three days, spent in the haze of dust induced sneezes and benadryl hangovers completely worth it.

after maybe forty forced and uncomfortable shots, of what had began as an organic moment, my mom, defeated, shot these last three. and I love them. even the scowly one. I could bear-hug her in happiness, but I wont.

because maybe they'll make you happy too.

'miscommunication leads to fear and hesitation
and it wont leave me alone,
but in my tree Im living free as any child, would I be.'
-priscilla ahn

'you're breaking branches on your way down
just someone new to throw your arms around.'
-seabear

they stood like a million little fingers over my home like every night before, but I was suddenly in awe of them. and nighttime didn't feel quite so alone in the glow of our lives reflected back from the clouds.